An Opinion on Southern Baptists and Gay Marriage

This week, the Southern Baptist Convention voted to oppose civil gay marriage. Not just in their churches — in the country. In the courts. In my life.

I grew up Southern Baptist. I memorized scripture. I went to youth group on Wednesday and church on Sunday. I believed what they taught me — about right and wrong, heaven and hell, purity and sin. And yes, I believed what they said about people like me. I, too, was once an anti-queer homophobe.

And then I came out.

I met myself in the wilderness of that coming out. I met grace, for real. Not the kind that demanded I cut off parts of myself to fit in, but the kind that made me whole. I found a love big enough to hold me — not despite who I am, but because of it.

I also lost a lot. It broke my heart to realize how many people in my church — the only community I had ever known — would rather lose me than learn to love me.

Fast-forward to the year 2025 — after Obergefell v. Hodges, after decades of struggle, tears, and testimony from LGBTQ+ people simply trying to live and love in peace — one of the largest Protestant denominations in the country (the same one I was a part of for 25 years) has decided that queer love is too much.

Let’s be clear: This isn't about theology. This is about control. It's about a church desperate to hold onto cultural power in a country that’s evolving past its bigotry.

And it’s deeply un-Christian.

Because Jesus — the Jesus y’all claim to follow — said, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” (Matthew 22:21)

In other words: Stop trying to legislate your faith. The government is not your church. America is not your altar. And queer people are not your scapegoat.

This vote doesn’t protect children or families. It doesn’t uplift the brokenhearted, or comfort the afflicted, or feed and clothe the poor — you know, the actual ministry of Jesus. What it does is enshrine state-sponsored discrimination in the name of God. And I can’t think of anything more blasphemous.

If your version of Christianity requires the government to enforce your beliefs, maybe your faith isn’t as strong as you think.

If your version of love excludes gay people from legal recognition, maybe it’s not love at all.

And if your version of morality revolves around punishing people for who they love — while your denomination still hasn’t reckoned with decades of sexual abuse, misogyny, and racism — maybe it’s time to stop moralizing and start repenting.

Because while you’re busy fighting gay marriage, queer people are burying their friends. Trans youth are dying by suicide. Families are being torn apart by policies your churches cheer on. This is not neutral. This is not just “difference of opinion.” This is harm. And your silence is complicity.

To anyone reading this who’s queer, trans, or questioning and was raised in that church: I see you. I know how deep those wounds go. And I need you to know — you were never the sin. You were the light they couldn’t handle. The spirit they couldn’t contain. The joy they couldn’t steal, no matter how hard they tried.

And to the Southern Baptists and every politician they empower: You don’t own marriage. You don’t own Jesus. And you sure as hell don’t own love.

It belongs to all of us.

It belongs to queers, too.

We're here. And we’re not going anywhere.